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Invasion of the Miley Snatchers
(Scene opens up with a night sky, an asteroid flies by. The title appears, with sparkling green letters. Camera pans down to the Flynn-Fletcher house..) Larissa: 'Last night's meteor wouldn't be as innocent as we thought... ''(Camera pans down to the television. A colorful movie is playing on the screen) 'Larissa: '.....just look what happened to Dianne! (Pulls back curtains to reveal a female teenager's head in a jar. Camera cuts down to Lauren and Miley watching the movie) '''Lauren: ''(High-fives Miley) Cool! ''(Camera cuts to Candace in her room. She hears the movie playing.) Candace: 'Now what? ''(Walks to the living room) ''Alright, what are you guys doing? '''Lauren: '''Watching the movie ''Invasion of the Monster High Fairies ''marathon. They're gonna play five movies tonight! '''Candace: '''Is that all? Pfft..well, enjoy your lame, colorless marathon. I'm heading back. ''(She starts to leave, but then looks back at the screen) 'Candace: '''Wait, who's that? '''Lauren: '''She's Fanny. '''Candace: '''She's kinda hunky for a 60s lady. '"Fanny": 'Don'tcha worry. I'll keep you safe. '''Clarice: '''Thanks, Fan, but just call me Clarice. '"Fanny": 'Alright...Clarice. '''Candace: '''Sold! ''(Sits on the couch quickly) ''Get me up to speed. '''Lauren: '''The supernatural beings are replacing the heads of the Monster High Fairies with their own shape-shifting, a lot of earrings in ears, which they can assume the most form of the fairies. '''Candace: '''Get out, then...? '''Miley: '''Once they replace more than 51% of the teenage Monster High Fairies, they can assume the earth for their own nefarious purposes. '''Candace: '''Shut up! And...? ''(Perry growls and twitches in his sleep) 'Candace: '''No way! Is there no way to stop them? '''Lauren: '''You can if you catch them drinking tequila. That's their weakest point. '''Candace: '''Then...how can you tell if they're aliens? '''Lauren: '''There are three kinds of ways to spot an alien. First, they have strange vocal patterns. They don't get psychokinesis. '"Fanny": 'Pass me that ''frie-bop, ''please. '''Clarice: '''You mean this hammer? '"Fanny": 'Oh, yes, hammer. ''Frie-bop ''is what we call it in Ohio...where I'm from. '''Candace: '''What else? '''Lauren: '''They're anatomically disproportionate. '"Fanny": 'Now I need the ''sprigle-kronk. 'Clarice: '''The what? '"Fanny": '''Never mind, I'll get it. '''Lauren: '''But the clear sign is they can safely remove any head, and replace it with their own shape-shifting one. '''Candace: '''Well, yeah. I guess that'll give it away. '''Lauren: ''(pointing to the TV) Like this. '''Clarice: '''Fanny? What's wrong? Are you alright? '"Fanny": Yes, Clarice. I'm fine. We're ''all ''fine, and soon you'll be too! '''Clarice: '''NOOO!!! '''Alien: '''Sorry, Clarice, but we waited long enough. '''Clarice: ''NOOOO! (her head in a jar) This can't be! What's happening? '''The real Fanny: '''I tried to warn you. ''(Later, in evening. Candace is standing on a couch, punching air) Clarice: 'Fanny, your head is attached! You're a teenager again! '''Fanny: '''Yes, and once Dianne returns from heading those dark woods with her glowing eyes, you'll be too. ''(The next morning...) 'Clarice: '''But it was all right here! Oh, why didn't I think that anyone would believe me? I was a fool! ''(sobs) ''A fool! ''("THE END?" is displayed on the TV) '''Candace: '''Oh my gosh, you guys, that was awesome. Guys? Uh, guys? Wow, it's tomorrow already. I gotta find those guys and tell how it ended..guys, guys, guys, ugh--''(runs to Mom, who is bringing a laundry basket) ''Sorry Mom. Have you seen the girls? '''Linda: '''Yeah, I think they're upstairs. Could you do me a favor and take the laundry up? I'm late for appointment. '''Candace: '''Sure, Mom. '''Linda: '''Thanks, hon, I'll be right back. '''Candace: ''(holding up a t-shift) Oh, how cute. Miley's torso is so tiny. ''(at Miley) ''Oh, there you are. You know, the movie was so.. '''Miley: '(shouting indistinctly over the computer) Candace: '''Oops, sorry. I'll just put these on your bedroom. '''Jessie: ''(via computer) Oh, I wish you were there, Miley. '''Miley: '''So do I. Tell Uncle Angus and Aunt Maura, thanks for the candy. '''Jessie: '''Right. Pop star out. Peace! '''Candace: '''Oh, hey Lauren. Oh my gosh, you missed it. By the end, everyone got their heads back and everything went back to normal. Well, soft of. The entire laboratory disappeared. But I love it. I can't look at anything the same, ever again. '''Lauren: '''Cool, glad you like it. '''Candace: '''Ooh, I-I almost forgot the coolest part. ''(in the backyard) ''Hey guys. Guys. You're never gonna believe this. At the end, they--''(ominous theme playing) (gasps) ''Miley? ''(Sees something that looks like Miley removing her head and puts it on the jar) ''Oh my gosh. Miley's an alien. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hang on a second. I'm sure there's a pretty good reason Miley could remove her head. I mean, it's not like she had like any other telltale signs, is it? Oh no. ''(Flashback 1) (speaking incoherently) (Flashback 1 ends) Candace: 'Strange vocal patterns. ''(Flashback 2) '''Candace: ''(holding up a t-shirt) Oh, how cute. Miley's torso is so tiny. ''(Flashback 2 ends) Candace: 'Anatomically disproportionate. ''(Gasps) ''They got to Miley! ''(At Lauren) ''Lauren, I-I think you're gonna feel that you completely lose it, but I'm pretty sure that Miley is an alien. We gotta find her head and re-attach it. '''Lauren: '''My sister's an alien? How cool is that? But I think..you're letting your imagination get the best of you, sis. '''Candace: '''Well, a non-believer, eh? You know what? I'm gonna get proof. You'll see, Miley is an alien. '''Lauren: '''Hey, where's Perry? ''(At Perry's lair) 'Donna: '''Sorry 'bout the distraction, Agent P. The ladies are helping to..uh..(reading a card) "net roy-er the lair". '''Lora: '''Tre biens, Donna. Tres bien. ''(The French maids made a giggle while Perry glares) '''Maids: '''Bonjour, Lora. '''Lora: '''Bonjour, Madame. '''Maids: ''(giggles)'' Donna: 'So we're having a little cleanup here, which coincidentally is what Spade seem to be having as well. He's put on "venoms" for evil auction site. If one of those substances fall into the wrong hands, it'll be catastro-could..could you wait for me to finish, Mimi? '''Fifi: '''Non "Mimi". Fifi. '''Donna: '''Oui, Fifi. ''(at herself) ''Oh, now I've lost my train of thought. ''(at Perry) ''Anyway, get to Spade's place and put a stop to it. ''(at Lora) ''How much is this costing, Lora? '''Lora: '''Une pefite fortune. '''Donna: '"Petite". That means small, right? Well done, Lora. '''Maids: ''(giggles)'' (Song: You're Not Miley) Something weird's going on here Gotta get me some evidence! Some strange goings-on happenin' on the back lawn And it's gettin' too intense Cos you're not Miley! No, and I'm disturbed! Cos you're not Miley! You got the same colored hair And her savoir-faire And her zany serenity! Though it's not conclusive, something elusive Says you stole her identity! Candace: ''(screaming)'' Cos you're not Miley! No, you're not Miley! No, you're not Miley! Candace: ''(screaming)'' You're not Miley! You're not Miley! You're not Miley! You're not Miley! You're not Miley! You're not Miley! Villain Beasts Mafia Incorporated! (doorbell chimes) Spade: ''(opens the door) Oh, hello. Y'must be here 'bout the ad, right? Well, c'mon in. It's right over here. ''(Closes the door, dramatic music) ''Behold, the Wrapped-Up-In-A-Nice-Bow-inator! ''(Perry, disguised as a criminal, blinks) ''I bet you're wonderin' what does it do, huh? Well, let's say that your nemesis is arrivin' sooner than expected and-and your place is a complete mess. ''(camera pans to the messy "bedroom") ''Tidyin' is a snap ''(snaps her tail) ''with a press of this large, red button. ''(Pushes aforesaid button) ''See? Wrapped up in a nice bow. ''(Close up to a box tied up with a red bow) ''Y'can also use it to hang your outfit on...(hangs one of her manacles on the inator) Just like a treadmill. ''(camera quickly pans to a treadmill with manacles hanging on it) ''So although my ad said firm, I'm flexible. So just make me an offer. ''(Perry blinks twice, Spade rubs her tail behind his head) ''Wow, you're a good negotiator. Okay, half price. ''(Camera pans to a baseball bat and a container of baseballs) ''And I'll throw in my Drusselstein minor-league baseball collection. ''(Action theme playing) (Perry quickly pulls off his disguise and puts on his fedora) Spade: 'Perry the Platypus? ''(Grabs a baseball bat) ''Well, it's a good thing I still have my Drusselstein minor-league bat. ''(Perry's in a defensive position) ''Have at'cha! ''(Action music playing) (Perry bats the wrapped up box with his tail. He then kicks it towards Spade, who swings and misses, and the treadmill activates due to it rebounding off the start button) (Spade hisses and growls) 'Spade: '''Aw. ''(to Lauren and Miley's room) '''Candace: ''(giggles) Well Lauren, what d'ya think? Wait. Before you ''could ''say anything, look at these photos. I stalked "Miley" all day. ''(Shows Lauren some photos) ''See? Proof-worthy. Miley is an alien. '''Lauren: '''Um..well- '''Candace: '''No, no, no, no, just wait till you see. Here, here. '''Lauren: '''But- '''Candace: '''Here, here. '''Lauren: '''But- '''Candace: '''Here, ''and ''here. Listen to this: ''(whiming). ''See? That's an entirely different silence than the Miley silence we're finding. Here, I'll pay if backwards. ''(Whiming) Lauren: 'Um.. '''Candace: '''Fine. Here, here, how 'bout the hideous ball of goo? '''Lauren: '''Listen, Candace, as cool as it'd be if Miley's an alien, that's sadly not the case. Here, follow me and I'll show you. '''Candace: '''Wait, show me what? ''(At the backyard...) 'Lauren: '''Miley, old friend, our dear sister here thinks you're a sinister extraterrestrial visitor. '''Candace: '''I saw Miley's head ripped off by a hideous alien monster. '''Lauren: '''Oh, you must mean this reverse power coupling unit we're using. '''Candace: '''Reversing power coupling unit? '''Lauren: '''Yeah. That's all what it was. Miley's no more alien than you or me. '''Candace: '''But..but how 'bout these evidence I've been collecting? '''Lauren: '''Well, even though Miley isn't an alien, we're fixing a spacecraft for a friend of Meap's. '''Candace: '''Wait, what? '''Lauren: '''We've just finished and we're 'bout to launch. '''Candace: '''Miley, you're not an alien..uh, you're 'bout to launch? You're so busted, I'm telling Mom. ''(inside the house, in the kitchen) '''Linda robot: ''(poking anj uncooked chicken) Go, go. Your skin's free, little bird. '''Candace: '''Mom. '''Linda robot: '''Oh! Candace, you scared the bejabbers out of me. '''Candace: '''C'mon, I got something to tell you. Seriously, Mom, I've been waiting a long time for this. All right, you two, let's get this show on the road. ''(In the backyard) '' '''Candace: '''Yes! Ooh, how cool is this? So busted, so busted, so busted. Mom, are you seeing this? I-i can't believe this is happening. You guys are so busted. And I busted you. For once Mom sees it! ''(giggle) ''Right, Mom? '''Linda robot: '''Yes. '''Candace: '''She sees it! Alright! ''(starts dancing) ''So busted, so busted, so busted.. '''Linda robot: '''You two have done a great job repairing my ship. '''Candace: '''So busted- ''(stops dancing) ''Huh? "Your" ship? '''Garbog: '(Speaks in alien dialect) (Sputtering) Candace: 'I-I- ''(sobbing) (Car horn) 'Candace: '''It's Mom. The ''real ''Mom. And I still have proof. ''(The Linda robot disappears) ''Crud-''(gasps) ''But the launch pad is still there. ''(At Villain Beasts Mafia Inc.) (While Spade and Perry are fighting, Perry kicks a box to her mouth. When he removes the bow, everything starts the release) 'Spade: '''Uh-oh. ''(When Spade grows too much, she pushes the inator away. Perry then jumps onto it and escapes) 'Spade: '''Curse ya, Perry the Plat-''(she groans, then spits out a chair) ''Why did I ''ever ''order such a large bedroom set? ''(Perry pushes the button on the Wrapped-Up-In-A-Nice-Bow-inator and the entire building gets wrapped in a nice little box) (action music) Agent P! 'Spade: '''Ow! Wow, y'know, it's quite roomier in here than you'd think. ''(When the inator hits the ground, it shoots a beam to the space and launched back to Earth by a satellite) (In the front yard) 'Candace: '''Mom, is that you? '''Linda: '''Candace, I don't have time right now. I got frozens. '''Candace: '''Yup. That's you, Mom. C'mon, quick. ''(In the backyard) '''Lauren: '''Nice design on that rocket gantry, by the way. ''(The beam hits the launch pad and it is wrapped in a box) ''...And it folds up for easy storage. Cool. '''Candace: ''(with her eyes closed) Please, please, please, please be there. '''Linda: '''And I'm seeing...the back yard. '''Candace: 'NOOOO!!! Lauren: '''Oh, there you are Perry. '''Candace: ''(sobs) But it was all right here! Oh, why didn't I think anyone would believe me? I was a fool! ''(sobs again) ''A fool! ''(Just like the end of the film they watched, "THE END?" displayed over tje screen) Category:Transcripts Category:Phineas and Ferb Crossover Category:Fan Art